leaving

But I Did Anyway – Mock Funeral

Mock Funeral

There was no funeral.
No flowers.
No ceremony.
No one had died.
No weeping or wailing.
Just in my heart.
I can’t…
But I did anyway,
and nobody knew I couldn’t.
I don’t want to…
But nobody else said they didn’t.

So I put down my panic
and picked up my luggage
and got on the plane.

There was no funeral.

By Alex Graham James

A Response

“I can’t. But I did anyway, and nobody knew I couldn’t.”
Isn’t that the summary of every goodbye I have lived through? How many times have I done the impossible, entered into the unimaginable simply because I must? The human spirit is resilient, determined to live, capable of withstanding much. All the same, every time I do something I can’t, I lose myself. Piece by piece I’m losing myself, trails of bloody footprints in my wake.

No words or imagery could ever be enough to capture it, and I’ve spent my whole life searching for how to explain something that is inexplicable. The sacrifice of innocence, the absolute helplessness of a child, the depth of the ache bound up inside my knowledge. Too much knowledge, too much logic, and I cut myself off from the relief of grief, thinking I hadn’t earned it. Wasn’t good enough for it. Isn’t everyone good enough for grief?

By Elizabeth Hemp

By CulTuremiKs, ago

Goodbye to Here

Another filled up, worn-out suitcase, another crossed off day—
Tomorrow I’ll again be going a million miles away.
I know someday I’ll return, but I know it won’t be the same
Because that’s just how it’s always worked in the traveler’s game:
Always moving; always settled; I don’t fit in; I belong—
Trying to blend in but always doing someone’s culture wrong.
I love the memories; I’m going to hold them close and dear. 
Farwell, the ticket says I’ve got to leave, so goodbye to here.

Goodbye to every face I’ve come to love.
Hello to familiar skies above.
Goodbye to what I’ve learned so I can blend.
Hello to strange customs that are my friend.
I face it all with no and every fear.
Hello to over there; goodbye to here.

I go through the familiar airport procedures and routines
Until it’s my turn to get into that big flying machine.
As I take off, I watch everything below grow so small,
And I can’t believe that again I’m leaving behind it all.
Trying not to cry even though I’ve got memories to keep.
Trying to keep myself entertained and then just fall asleep.
Trying not to laugh as I get excited about what’s ahead.
Trying to trust that we follow where God has faithfully led.

Goodbye to every face I’ve come to love.
Hello to familiar skies above.
Goodbye to what I’ve learned so I can blend.
Hello to strange customs that are my friend.
I face it all with no and every fear.
Hello to over there; goodbye to here.

I can’t imagine life for those who always live in one place,
Knowing what they’ll do each day and recognizing every face.
One mind, one tongue, one heart, one life, one home, one land where they live.
They say I sacrifice, but there’s more than what you see me give.
Maybe I can’t define home or use one speech to tell how I feel,
But I know I’ve come to love this world in a way much more real.
Someday maybe I’ll settle in a place most people call home,
But my heart still won’t understand why I can’t forever roam.

Goodbye to every face I’ve come to love.
Hello to familiar skies above.
Goodbye to what I’ve learned so I can blend.
Hello to strange customs that are my friend.
I face it all with no and every fear.
Hello to over there; goodbye to here.

by Katrina P. Puckett

By CulTuremiKs, ago

I Will Wait For You

by Parker Deal

And I will wait for you
until you tell me not to
And I will wait for you
until you tell me not to

I’ll wait for you
So let’s not
talk about the good times now
talk about the good times now
Let’s wait until
we’re ready for tomorrow.

So let’s not
even talk about how
you got here and
we got here;
I got here.

And I will wait for you.
I’ll put on the plate
all I can offer, all I can do.

And I will wait for you.
I’ll put on the plate
all I can offer, all I can do.

I write not of tragedy
but a story to be told,
story to be told.

I write not of you and me
but a story that is old,
that is old.

We’ll devise,
we’ll devise – 
write the nicest thing
I could offer up.

And I will wait for you
I’ll wait for you
until you tell me not to.

And I will wait for you
I’ll wait for you
until you tell me not to.

And I will wait for you
I’ll wait for you
until you tell me not to.

And I will wait for you
I’ll wait for you.

So let’s not
even talk about where you’ve been.
I’ve been staying up all night
looking out the window,
looking for you
running home.

Run back, son, to that home
It’s the only place with open arms,
open arms waiting for you.

And I say
tell me the truth.
That you’ll come and see
the ones that don’t have you,
don’t have you.

And I will wait
to tell you the truth.
That you’ll come and see
but what I don’t have,
I don’t have you.

I will wait.
I will wait.
I will wait, will wait.
I will wait for you.

I will wait.
I will wait.
I will wait, will wait.
I will wait for you,
will wait for you.

And I will wait for you.
I’ll wait for you
until you tell me not to.

By CulTuremiKs, ago

Echo

bright splashes of sound and smell laugh 
in my face as I drag 
a finger through the dusty residue of last night’s 
dreams
thoughts reaching eagerly for the edge of our windowsill 

voices ring through my sister’s room and 
small feet
chase the goats of Rue 3
I stick out my tongue because the air 
is warm and salty and I
am glad to be alive

my feet find their way to the kitchen 
and I smile up at a dripping face
“here”
I wriggle my hips into the skirt held out for me 
stiff 
with the sun and wind of Harmattan

the trucks begin to arrive 
shouting hello to the watchman and we run 
bare feet slapping across the cement, skidding 
to a stop in the sudden sand
as I sneak a look behind me 
before ducking through the doors

whip the willow
is new for us but the music 
is already in our veins 
so we listen our way into the patterns on the floor
rhythm 
pulling the room in dizzy circles
lock elbows and spin faster
crooked 
grin
we could dance 
all night 

later
the roof is a breathless 
purple 
leaning out over the courtyard, the moon 
is nowhere to be found
quiet footsteps 
pad on the stairs 
I turn around and you point 
so we look up at the sky and 
pick a star to wish on 

… 

an alarm clock rings in the distance 
my eyes fly open 
groping for the mosquito net 
and I turn my face towards the window, but there’s a wall 
instead
confused snow 
drifting quietly 
to the ground outside 
a new window 
over there
I am lost and this must be 
Minnesota

by Kekelime

By CulTuremiKs, ago