Do Not Pity – TCK Poem

Do Not Pity
by Katrina P. Zemke

Do not pity me
And moan over how far away I am.
I already know.
I’m already aware.
And your sympathy sounds like nothing
But words.

Do not claim to understand
That you know what I’m going through
Because you left your child
At a camp five hundred miles away
For a whole summer.

Do not tell me how you cried
The day you left your child
At college in another state.
My parents left me
And flew away
A thousand
Five thousand
Ten thousand
Miles.

I thank you for your prayers.
I thank you for your concern.
But understand:
You cannot know;
You do not know;
Until you have truly lived
This life.

I don’t cry tears.
I don’t mourn all day.
I came to terms
With the reality of my life
Many years ago;
And I am not heartless
Because of that.

Don’t ask me when I will see
My parents again.
If I asked you that question,
Would you really be able to answer?
Maybe I can answer,
But even if I can’t,
Do not respond,
“Oh, that must be so hard.”

This is my life.
This is all I know.
So next time you see me
And ask about my family:
Do not think I am heartless.
Do not claim to understand.
Do not pity.

Travel Photographer – Massive Nomadic

travel photography
taken in Boston, Massachusetts
taken in Qatar

Learn about the photographer:

My name is Isam and I identify as a TCK. I have lived in multiple cities around but never in my parent’s respective home countries. I enjoy traveling, hiking, and photography.

As an avid photographer I especially like taking colourful shots as exhibited in my artwork.

tck documentary

A TCK Documentary – Alaska to Africa

A TCK documentary exploring the world of seven siblings in Ghana, as they adjust to a new culture and wrestle with the questions about home and belonging that all third culture kids can relate to.

Featuring the Gelatt family, missionaries through ABWE. Filmed in November of 2018. No profit is being made from this film.

Soundtrack created by Spencer Parkhurst – check him out on SoundCloud here.

Filmed and edited by Hannah Mathews – check her blog out here.

Watch more documentaries about TCKs here.

Suitcases by Haddie Grace

original song by Haddie Grace

Lyrics:

We’ll unpack our suitcases
Begin to embrace this
Unfamiliar place so
Different from what we’ve known

We’ll learn and go exploring
We know our best stories
Happen well outside of
Our comfort zone

We can make anywhere home

Constant changing is our sameness
Uprooting is our routine
We’ll bloom in winter
Our resilience is our stability

I am all the places that changed me
I am all the cities that made me me
I am all the people who named me
Home is wherever I happen to be

Not a number on a street

I’ll send you a letter
We’ll compare the weather
I need to borrow languages to tell you how I feel
You’ll listen like a true friend
Like when we jumped in the deep end
We’ve moved six times since then
That’s how you know that it’s real

Constant changing is our sameness
Uprooting is our routine
We’ll bloom in winter
Our resilience is our stability

I am all the places that changed me
I am all the cities that made me me
I am all the people who named me
Home is wherever I happen to be

Not a number on a street

I’m moving again
Soon you’ll hear it in my accent
Uprooting again
Daydreaming in past tense

I’ll unpack my suitcases
I promise I’ll embrace this
Unfamiliar place so
Different from what I’ve known

I promise I’ll be open
Won’t bury my emotions
My heart’s caught between oceans
But I can make anywhere home

We can make anywhere home

I am all the places that changed me
I am all the cities that made me me
I am all the people who named me
Home is wherever I happen to be

We are all the places that changed us
We are all the cities that shaped us
We are all the people who named us
Home is wherever we’re known and we’re loved

Not a number on a street

Thoughts from the author:

Just wanted to explain two lyrics.
“We are all the people who named us” — When you are invited into a new culture, you are often given a new name. In Oniyan (Bassari)in Senegal, there are ordinal names meaning “first son” or “second daughter” that tell your place in the family. In Southeast Senegal I am “Ingama.” In Dakar, I am “Khady” which is short for Khadija, but works for me because it sounds like “Haddie.” In the US, various groups of friends have given me different nicknames, which is different than cultural names but still, in the act of naming there is affection, a sense of relationship, and belonging. And of course, my parents named me Hadassah, and my family is a part of me as well.


“I am all the people who named me” is another way of saying my identity has been shaped by all the people who are important to me.
“Constant changing is our sameness” — sameness being the shared identity of all third culture kids.

Other original songs by Haddie Grace

Denizen (Distance)
Neutral Room
Bittersweet

Lost Is Just A Word – Original Song By Nick Riedell

Lost is just a word we use
When you can’t find your home
There’s purpose in the processes
I know, I know

Well how can you be lost
If your home’s nowhere?
How can you be found
When you are too scared?

Just follow the light
It’ll guide you home

This is your life
A life for loving
This is your life
So rise above it
This is your life
So live all you got

Music and lyrics by Nick Riedell

See more of Nick’s music here

But I Did Anyway – Mock Funeral

Mock Funeral

There was no funeral.
No flowers.
No ceremony.
No one had died.
No weeping or wailing.
Just in my heart.
I can’t…
But I did anyway,
and nobody knew I couldn’t.
I don’t want to…
But nobody else said they didn’t.

So I put down my panic
and picked up my luggage
and got on the plane.

There was no funeral.

By Alex Graham James

A Response

“I can’t. But I did anyway, and nobody knew I couldn’t.”
Isn’t that the summary of every goodbye I have lived through? How many times have I done the impossible, entered into the unimaginable simply because I must? The human spirit is resilient, determined to live, capable of withstanding much. All the same, every time I do something I can’t, I lose myself. Piece by piece I’m losing myself, trails of bloody footprints in my wake.

No words or imagery could ever be enough to capture it, and I’ve spent my whole life searching for how to explain something that is inexplicable. The sacrifice of innocence, the absolute helplessness of a child, the depth of the ache bound up inside my knowledge. Too much knowledge, too much logic, and I cut myself off from the relief of grief, thinking I hadn’t earned it. Wasn’t good enough for it. Isn’t everyone good enough for grief?

By Elizabeth Hemp

What Keeps You Here?

a strawberry

What keeps you here
I ask my heart
Stranger in a strange land, so white, so clean

These fields in June, she laughs
Your red-stained fingers
A taste of heaven beneath each leaf
And this sky expansive and clear

I wonder why, my heart, you hold
Steady on small delights after
Months of sifting memories
Under grey skies
Testing each day as we
Walk out into this not-all-bad
But still foreign place

I am young, says she –
A child who races, explores,
Finds beauty even here
And welcomes the new, trusting
Inviting sweet existence even
Within this space of not belonging

I hold out for
Simple Wonders;
Encounters with the Presence

Crouched amongst the rows I ponder this
Sifting through the too-soon and the already-past
I find it.
The ripest, the reddest berry
Welcomes me into the perfect balance
Proves to me that
Yes, child, even here, even you,
Have abundant peace.
The taste and texture of now.

By Bree Becker, a third culture kid from Rwanda and Kenya who now lives in Oregon, USA.

Colors of my Father’s Heart

When my dad passed away in 2015, I painted the picture above as part of my grieving process. It’s called The Colors Of My Father’s Heart. My dad was a patriotic American who loved Brazil just as much, but more than anything he loved the Lord, and that’s what this picture portrays for me.

Painting by Lori Kingston, a missionary kid from Brazil who is now living in central New York.

See more of Lori’s work here!

In Between – A TCK Documentary

“In Between” is a 23-minute documentary that explores the identity development of people who have grown up as third culture kids. Identity is our sense of who we are and guides our interests and our life choices. Moving between cultures affects the development of identity. Through the stories of three TCKs, the film investigates the often-overlooked effects on adults who had international upbringings.

By Elsa Hendriks

Watch more documentaries here!